


Geeks Family

by Freelance_Magic



Series: A family can be dog man, rabbity thing and a child genius and I think that's beautiful [1]
Category: Sam & Max
Genre: Adoption, M/M, Science, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-15 15:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19298428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freelance_Magic/pseuds/Freelance_Magic
Summary: Darla "The Geek" Gugenheek was always alone, that is until one fateful science fair





	1. A Chance Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Geek isn’t having a good time at the science fair, that is… until THEY showed up

It’s stupid, honestly. I don’t even know why I participate anymore, it’s not fair to the other kids. I glance around at the other kids in this science fair. I see a couple of volcanoes, some potato batteries, you know, classic science fair fare. Then you got me, with my “black hole” machine. It’s not REALLY a black hole, that would probably end up destroying the world, and I’m pretty sure not destroying the earth is an unspoken rule of science fairs. It’s more of a vacuum that goes into this- you know what, it’s just complicated. It’s just an extremely strong vacuum and let’s leave it at that. I sigh and lean back in my cheap folding chair. I take a peek at the gyms clock. It’s just one hour until the fairs done, that’s just ten minutes six times. “Hey! Stop eating my science project, you weirdo!” I turn my head at the commotion. There's this rabbit looking person with wires coming out of his mouth, I’m guessing those wires are connected one of the potato battery projects. I have to admit, the sight is pretty funny, thought, my classmates expression makes me think they don’t share the same sentiment.

“Max, how many times do I have to stop you from eating some kids project?” A tall dog person asked in a fond sounding tone as he picked, who I now know to be Max, up and shoved his hand his Max’s mouth, retrieving the now soggy potato, handing it to the victim. “I want to know what science taste like, Sam. Is that so much to ask?” Max asks. So that’s the name of the dog person, Sam. I don’t remember seeing them at any past science fairs and I’m pretty sure that I would remember these two. I wonder why they- “Darla Gugenheek?” Asks one of three judges. I will myself to not gag at the sound of my “real name”. “Please, call me Geek.” I greet politely with an outstretched hand. The judge takes my hand and shakes. “What do you have for us this year, Miss Guenheek?” Asks the judge. Ugh! “This year I have decided to make a “black hole machine”, do not be alarmed. It’s not really a black hole, it’s just a vortex like portal with a very strong vacuum.” I explain as I flick the on switch. Then all hell broke loose. 

 

                                                                                 ////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“Okay, so maybe turning on a volatile vacuum portal at a school science fair isn’t the brightest idea I ever had.” I admit to myself as the gymnasium gets cleared of the science projects and tables holding said projects. Well… on the bright side, whoever had to clean up the gym is in for an easy night. Oh who am I kidding! This is going to get me expelled for sure! I lean back in my chair and stare up at the ceiling. Why did I try so hard? Was I hoping someone would think I’m cool and take me home with them and raise me for the rest of my childhood?! Stupid! I shake my head. It’s times like these, where I mess up badly, when I could really use that parental support I’ve always been lacking. Then again… who would want a kid that makes black holes? Two weirdos with destructive tendencies probably. I smile at the thought, yeah, like I’m going to just randomly meet those kinds of people here in this children's science fair, if they would be interested in adopting children at all.

“That’s cool!” I turn and see the two oddball guys I saw earlier holding onto a pole, being nearly sucked into the vortex. What on earth? “Wanna come and live in our basement and devote the rest of your life to fighting crime?” Asks the dog who I think is called Sam. Huh, guess I stand corrected. “Okay.” I answer casually. I then reach over and turn off the machine. The vortex dissipated and the two slid off the pole. The white rabbit, Max if I’m remembering correctly, then rushes over to me. “That was so cool! Can you do it again?!” He asks with excitement and enthusiasm. “I guess I could, but you kind of saw all this machine has to offer so…” I trail off. “We should probably introduce ourselves first, little buddy.” Sam, I think, says as he brushes off any debris on himself. “I’m Sam of the freelance police, this lagomorph here is my partner, Max.” Sam introduces.“I’m Max, lovable mascot-esque bringer of death and destruction to evil doers and also people that made Sam sad!” Max introduces. “I’m The Geek, child genius extraordinaire and also as of today, ruiner of science fairs.” I introduce. “ The Geek? That’s an odd name?” Sam points out. “It’s a nickname that stuck, I prefer it.” I explain. “Sam, are we going to do the thing or what?” Max asks as he tugs on Sams tie. “Oh right! Here!” Sam pulls a card from his coat and presents it to me. “We would like to invite you to be an intern for the freelance police!” I take the card. “What would I do as an intern?” I ask. “Well, maybe you could make us gadgets and gizmos that would help us to beat up scum?” Sam suggests. 

“Sure, I’ll do it.” I shrug. Sam does a double take. “Wait, really? Just like that?” He asks. “Hey, I already said ok to living in your basement and devoting my life to fighting crime.” “Alrighty then! Just contact us with the info on the card and we will be in touch.” Sam says as he picks Max up and wonders off out of the gym. I look down at the business card. Honestly, not the worst out come I ever had, maybe things are looking up for- “DARLA GUGENHEEK, PLEASE COME TO THE OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!” Rings out the secretary through the PA system.  Oh, Right. Possible expulsion due to destroying the science fair. Well. Let’s get this over with.


	2. Celebrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geek goes to Sam and Max’s office

“Do I have the right place?” I ask nobody in particular as I stand in front of a building that has seen better days. I glance at the address on I got from Sam again. Yep, this is the place alright. I step up on the steps and head inside. I hear what sounds like muffled yelling above me. Classy. I head up the stairs to the second floor and see two doors. One of the doors has the yelling going on inside. I make my way past this door quickly as not to deal with any awkward interactions. The next door reads _ “Sam & Max: Freelance police” _ , ah, here we are. I knock on the door. I wait and there's no answer. I knock again. Nothing. I try the knob and find that it’s unlocked. I open the door to an office with no Sam and Max to be seen. Maybe they stepped out for a moment? Feels kinda weird just inviting myself in like this. “Hello? Sam? Max? Is anyone here?” I call out. They couldn't have gone far if they left the office unlocked. “Sam, you wouldn't believe how long it took me to find...” Max says as he walks out of what seems to be a closet full of nick-nacks and guns. “You aren't Sam.” Max points out. I look down and cheek myself. “Well I’ll be. I would have never guessed.” I say in very obvious sarcastic astonishment.

“Hey! Your that black hole kid from the science fair! Let me say that so far, I’m a HUGE fan of your work!” Max greets. Oh gosh, is that what I’m going to be known for? “Yep, that me.” I shrug. “We’re going to have you as our intern?! YES!” Max cheers. Well, I guess it’s a relief that he’s happy that I’m here. “So where did Sam go?” I ask. “Oh, something about picking up food to celebrate something.” Max answers. Celebrate? Are they celebrating me? I feel a little warm. I shake my head. “Max! I’m back with the celebratory sustenance! Has Geek arrived yet?” Sam calls as he carries a pile of boxes which most likely contains the bespoken sustenance. “Yeah! Geek just got here!” Max answers. “Oh! Hello Geek! Sorry I wasn’t here!” Sam greets. Sam heads over to what I assume to be his desk and puts down the boxes. “I hope Max wasn’t too much trouble.” Sam says as he looks at Max. “Nah, he was fine. But for some reason he came out of the closet.” I assure. Sam rolls his eyes. “As if Max was ever in the closet.” Sam says in a joking tone. “Geek meant that literally, Sam. I perusing the closet for something to entertain me and found an old pair of dentures!” Max explains as he proudly holds up some dusty dentures. “Where did you get those?” I ask. Max shrugs. “Old bad guy probably.” Max answers. 

“Shall we eat?” Sam asks, bringing attention to the food he bought. “Sure, what’s the occasion?” I ask. “Well, we are celebrating two things actually. One is you joining us as our intern and the other is the fact that Max and I have moved into a house yesterday!” Sam explains. I’m touched at the fact that they are including me as a reason to celebrate. “Congratulations on moving.” I say as I reach into one of the boxes and pull out a slice of pizza. Max scoots over to me and waves at me to lean in. “Sam cut one of the hedges in the yard into the shape of my head, I think he might be obsessed with me.”  Max whispers in my ear. “If I recall correctly, you asked me to cut the hedge into the shape of your head, little buddy.” Sam clears up as he places some Chinese food on a plate. “Wow, Sam. Just tell Geek all my secrets why don’t you?!” 

“Despite what Max might tell you, he actually loves musicals.” Sam confesses. “Juicy, does he have a favorite.” I play along. “Ok, Sam. I get it! Please stop!” Max exclaims, strangely embarrassed. Max then reaches into one of the boxes and pulls out a donut. “How much food did you get?” I ask. “Well, I didn’t know what you like so I kinda just sort of got… a bunch of stuff.” “Is that why you were late coming back?” Max asks in a tone that implies he already knows the answer. “Maybe.” Sam ambiguously answers. “That’s very sweet of you Sam, but I’m not a very picky eater.” I assure. “Well, on the bright side, we’ll have plenty of leftovers.” Sam says as glances at the boxes of food. “So, about that basement…” I start. “Oh, right! You see, due to unforeseen events, this building got a sub-basement to it, which we called dibs on.” Sam explains. “It’s more like cave then basement.” Max adds in. A cave basement? I always wanted one of those! “That sounds interesting, I would love to turn that into my own personal lab. Just like Chiroptera-Guy.” “Wha-oh! Nerd alert!” Max teases. “Max, you were the one that begged me to dress as Sparrow: boy wonder, for multiple Halloweens while you dressed as Chiroptera-Guy.” Sam calls out. “When we were kids!” Max defends. “I don’t think we were kids last year? Where we Max?” Sam teases. “Wha-oh! Bigger nerd alert!” I play along. 

We tease each for a while longer, I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun. “So, Geek. What got you into mad science?” Asks Max. “I’m not sure. Just always had pull towards it, I guess. How about you two, what got you into the fighting crime scene?” I ask. “A thirst for adventure.” Sam answers. “And blood!” Chimes in Max. I snort at Max’s answer. “I bet your parents are proud of your work.” Sam says of handedly. “I don’t have parents, I’m an orphan.” I say causally. It’s suddenly gone quiet. Did I say something wrong? Sam and max are looking at each other with surprised expressions. “WHAT?!” They both yell as they turn to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Sam: I bet your parents are proud!  
> Geek: I don’t have parents…  
> Max: Not for long!
> 
> Y’all ready for Sam and Max becoming parents power hour?!


	3. Geek Gets Two Dads In Twenty-Four Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geek gets a family

“Um? What’s wrong guys?” I ask after that little outburst Sam and Max just had. “Nothing, nothing at all.” Max answers in a weird tone. “I guess we are celebrating three things today.” Sam says to himself. “What do you mean by that, Sam?” I ask. “We are celebrating that you will be joining us as our intern and Max and I moving into a house.” Sam lists off. “Okay, but what’s the third thing?” I urge him to continue. “The third thing we are celebrating is us adopting you.” Sam answers. My heart stops for a second. No, it can’t be, they are probably joking. “Oh, ha ha. Real funny guys.” I sarcastically fake laugh. I glance back at them. They look completely serious. “Y-you guys are serious? Listen, it’s not easy to adopt when single, they won’t let two buddy cops adopt a kid out of pity.” I explain. “What makes you think we’re single?” Asks Sam. “And doing it out of pity?” Max adds in. Wait, hold on! Sam and Max are married? But to who? “What? I didn't realize, all I see here is photos of you guys?” Sam and Max raise their hands towards me. They are wearing matching rings. “You guys are married?!” I exclaim. Honesty, it does explain a few things. “Yep and we moved into a house so that we could have a kid!” Max exclaims. I must be dreaming. 

“Are you guys sure? I mean, you just met me-” “And we seem to get on like cow folk to their trusty steeds.” Sam points out. I… can’t deny that we fit well together. “Please, Geek! We really want to have a kid and you’d be perfect!” Max begs. I want to say yes. I want to say it so badly. Why can’t I just say yes throw myself into their arms and cry? “Well… It’s not me you have to convince. You will have to have your home inspected and it’s a whole complicated process.” I explain. “TO THE AUTOMOBILE!” Yells Max. “Hang on, let me humorously stuff all the food the the fridge like a neanderthal first!” Sam says as he scoops up as much food as he can and waddles over to the fridge. This is not how I imagined my day to go, at all. But you won’t see me complain about it. I feel myself get lifted off the ground. “Come on, Geek!” Sam says as he rushes out the door with me in his arms. “Do you guys even know where to go?” I ask. Both of them stop everything and look at me. I sigh.

  


                                                                                          /////////////////////////////////////////////////

  


“Are you gentlemen sure? Because…” We have been in this office for more than an hour and I'm losing my patience. Why can’t they make adoption easier? I mean, I understand that there has to be a process to it, can’t let any weirdo get their hands on a kid just like that. But I wish there was a way- Oh wait! I got an idea! “Pst! Max. Can I see your phone?” I whisper. Max pulls his phone from who knows where and hands it to me. I wonder how high of security they have? Time to find out! “And we will have to make sure your residence is in ideal conditions for raising Darla-” “What? Geeks name is Darla?” Max asks. “Please just call me Geek.” I insist without looking up. Wow, this is really easy to hack into! Or I’m just that good. I hope it’s the latter because it would be sad if it was easy. “We really want to adopt Geek. Is there anyway to make the process faster?” Asks Sam. Oh there is Sam. I’m currently performing the process right now. “Unfortunately there is no way- Oh?” The interviewer stops as they get an email on their computer.

“That’s… strange?” The interviewer points out as they read the email. Gotcha. “Is something the matter?” Asks Sam. “N-no? I guess we can push the adoption forward?” The interviewer says with a baffled look. “Finally! I thought this was going to take all day!” Exclaims Max. Oh, he has no idea how long this could have taken. “I’ll just need you two to sign here…”

  


                                                                                          --------------------------------------------------

**_Some paperwork later…_ **

  


“BOOM BABY!” Max yells as he kicks the front door open. “Well that went unbelievably smoothly!” Sam exclaims as we exit the building. “Yeah, if we didn’t get lucky and that email wasn’t sent from who knows where we would probably still be in that building!” Max agrees. “Luck had nothing to do with it.” I add in. Both Sam and Max look at me confused. “Let’s just say that I MAY have hacked into their systems and okayed my adoption.” I confessed. “Wow you can do that? Can you make it so we fully paid off mortgage?” Max asks. “I could, but I shouldn’t. What I did here was a little tiny bit sort of maybe illegal so we should probably not draw much more attention to ourselves if possible.” I confess. “I’m so proud of our child, Sam.” Max says in a wistful tone. “Tell me about, look at how well Geek did, and on a run of the mill cell phone as well!” Sam praises. I feel my face getting a little warm. “Aw, you boys are too kind.” I wave off. “Shall we head home, Geek? I think there having a classic B-list horror movie marathon on TV tonight?” Sam asks as we clamber into the car.  And for the first time in my young life, I got to say “Yeah, let’s head home.” But I don’t think we have to head anywhere. Because I think right here, with these two bozos, is where my home is. Yuck, that was the sappiest thing I have ever thought of! Even if is completely true, I can never say that out loud, in fear of running the price of maple syrup into the ground! “I can’t wait for you to see your new room, Geek! The walls are currently bone white, but we can paint it some other color if you so desire, like blood red!” Max offers. “Nah, I’m more into mucus green, maybe bruised purple?” I offer. “I think miserable tears blue might be a relaxing color for a bedroom!” Chimes in Sam. 

“I love this family!” Yells a delighted Max. Honestly, despite the fact that we legally been a family for less than an hour, ditto. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Geek: *Hacking noises* I’m in  
> Sam & Max: *Visibly impressed*
> 
> Geek is secretly a sap and cares about the bois and you can’t tell me otherwise ( just watch Sam & Max vs The uglitions, Prime geek is Sam and Max's kid content!)


	4. A Simple Slip Of The Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Max may have forgotten something

“Maybe we should just stay in? I mean, I just moved in two days ago.” I point out. It’s the weekend and Sam, Max and I are planning on what we should do this weekend. “But it’s the first weekend with you! I think we should make it special and tear up the town!” Max offers. “Geek has a point, Max. It has been an unusually busy week and Geeks only been here for a few days.  It’s best if we have a lazy weekend.” Sam agrees. “I guess there will be other weekends…” Says Max a little dejectedly. “Hey, this just means we can plan the next weekend to be even more exciting and chaotic.” I try. “You got a point there!” 

 

**_Knock Knock_ **

 

“Who could that be?” Sam asks as he rises from his chair. “If it’s Jehovah's witnesses call me so we can make out in front of them!” Max calls as Sam leaves the room. I hear Sam open the front door. “Oh! Hello, Sybil!” Sam greets. “Who’s Sybil?” I ask Sam- I mean Max. “A friend.’ Max answers simply. “It’s nice to see you too, Sam.” Says who I presume to be Sybil. “You know, I feel as if we forgot to tell her something?” Max says to himself. “What could have you forgotten?” I ask him. “This is a lot nicer than your guy’s last place.” Says Sybil as she wanders into the room with Sam following behind her. “Hey, Sybil!” Max greets. “Hello, Max, how have-” Sybil says partly before seeing me. “Oh, hello. I don’t think we met?” Sybil greets in a confused tone. I think I just figured out what Max forgot to do, Sam and Max probably have forgotten to tell her about me. “I’m Geek, it’s a pleasure.” I greet as I reach my hand out for a handshake. Sybil takes my hand and shakes. She seems confused. “I came free with the house.” I joke. Max suddenly stands from where he was seated. “OH! We forgot to tell Sybil we adopted you, Geek!” Max exclaims. Suddenly the room became very quiet. “I knew I was forgetting to do something…” Sam says quietly. 

“What?” Sybil says, dumbfounded. She releases her hand from the hand shake. “What?” She says a little louder. “They adopted me two days ago.” I tell her. “WHAT?!” She yells in an excited tone. OK, so she's happy about this development. “How did you guys not tell me that you were in the process of adopting a kid?!” Sybil asked loudly. “It happened in less than twenty-four hours.” Sam explains. “There was hacking involved.” Max chimes in. “Sounds about right.” Sybil states. Then she gets a sly smile on her face. “You guys did tell your respective families about this, correct?” She asks. Sam gets a panicked look on his face. “I… have several phone calls to make.” Says Sam as he exits the room to make those phone calls. Both Sybil and I glance at Max who just waves it off. “If my family called each other every time a new baby was born or something we would be on our phones non-stop.”

“Fair point.” Sybil shrugs. “Hi Granny! Yes. Things are going great!” Sam says to someone on the phone as he re-enters the room. “I just wanted to tell you that you are now a great granny! No! You were always great! I mean Max and I have adopted a kid whomst we are very proud of!” Sam explains. Sam pulled the phone away from his head when, even from the other side of the room, I hear screaming coming from the phone. “I think she's quite excited about this revelation.” Sam announces. “That or she's being attacked by the prisoners during a phone call from her beloved grandson.” Max offers. “Prisoners?” I question. “Sam’s granny is a bad ass prison warden.” Max explains. “Max, language. Yes, Geek she is a prison warden, but I doubt she would be screaming if she was attacked, she’s not called the  _ “Iron Maiden” _ for nothin’!” Sam reassures. “Is everybody from your families connected to the law?” I ask. “If you count being in prison as being part of the law then, yes for most relatives on my side.” Max answers. 

“So, Geek, is that a nickname or…?” Sybil asks. “Yeah, but it’s also the name I prefer.” I explain. 

“So, how did you meet Sam and Max?” Sybil counties. “Science fair, they almost got sucked into a vortex I made, asked if I wanted to live in their basement and devote the rest of my life to fighting crime.” I answer. Sybil giggles. “That sounds like a classic Sam and Max situation. I’m kinda still in shock that they actually have a kid now!”Sybil states. “Honestly I’m still getting used to the idea that I have parents, I part of me still thinks this is some sort of fever dream that I’m having. Yeah, my dads are a six foot tall dog in a suit and a short white rabbit man with shark teeth, I’m definitely not dreaming!” I joke. “Okay, see you soon!” Sam says as he hangs up the phone. “So, Granny is visiting next weekend…” Sam starts. Max throws his hands in the air and sighs. “So much for next weekend being chaotic!” Max whines. “Max, this is Granny Ruth we are talking about here. We might be taking a helicopter ride and visiting a prison.” Sam points out. “Never mind, I just hope this time I remember to bring my taser. Your Granny promised me that she would see if I could get it upgraded.” Max reminisces. “You know I could just upgrade it for you?” I offer. “Nah, there’s just something about a sweet old woman upgrading a taser that makes me giggle.” Max says with a gleeful smile. 

“I guess I should be heading out, letting you guys get back to whatever it is that your doing.” Sybil says as she stands. “Are you sure?” Sam asks. “Yeah, I gotta get back to work.” Sybil says as she walks to the front door. “What’s Sybil's job?” I ask Sam. “It’s different every week!” He says. “This week is monster truck demolitionist.” Sybil tells as she walks out the door. “Nice seeing you Sybil.” Sam calls as he closes the door. “Don’t you have to call more people, Sam?” I ask, noting that he only called his grandma. “Maybe in a little bit. My ear still hurts.” Sam says as he rubs the side of his head. I got a feeling this is going to be a very interesting family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Sybil: Nice place-  
> Geek: Yo  
> Sybil: WHOMST????
> 
> That’s right, Sam and Max forgot to tell people that they got a kid. But trust me, Sam is definitely the kind of Dad that has pictures of geek in his wallet and shows them off when he gets a chance.


	5. Tear Up The Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geek has their first ever family outing with Sam and Max

“It’s a shame that granny had to cancel like that.” Sam says as he drives through the destroyed hole in the front yard fence. “Yeah, sucks that she has to stay at the prison due to one inmates trying to rally the others in a mass escape.” Max agrees. “Oh, well. That just means that we get today alone with our darling, Geek.” Sam says in a “proud parent voice”. “I’m flattered, Sam. I really am, but where are we going?” Geek asks. “Well, I think you need more clothes for starters, you own what, one outfit?” Sam points out. “Geek could always take after me and be a nudist!” Max offers. “Clothes shopping it is!” Geek shoots down. 

                                                                                        //////////////////////////// 

 

“Well here we are at the local mall that is sure to die in the next decade due to increasing use of online shopping!” Sam announces as the group enters said mall. “Does he do that every time?” Geek asks Max. “Only when he remembers to.” Max whispers. “So what business that specializes in clothing shall we acquire the necessary robes for Geek to drape across their fleshy vessel?” Sam asks. “Oh, no. He’s feeling wordy today.” Max grumbles. “How about  _ “Smarty pants” _ ? Gotta love the mix of comfort and business!” Geek says as they point towards said store. “Alrighty then!” Sam agrees as he takes Geeks hand and starts to walk towards the store. “Um, Sam? You don’t need to-” “Ah, yes I’m just your average father walking with their kid to a store to buy some clothes!” Sam exclaims in a slightly choked up tone. “I’m sorry, what were you saying, Geek?” Sam asks as he gets a grip. “N-never mind…” Geek says looking away. “I’ve never seen Sam acting so fatherly! … It’s kinda hot.” Max whispers. “Why did you feel the need to tell me that?” Geek whispers back. 

“So what should we look at first, Geek?” Sam asks they enter the store. “I’m thinking lab coats. Should I go with classic white or be bold and go for black?” Geek ponders. “I was thinking more day to day, not that you can’t get a lab coat.” Sam urges. “Oh, well I see some clothes over here that seem good.” Geek says as they bring Sam over to said clothes. “These have good colors, sturdy and comfortable material and best of all, machine washable.” Geek lists off as they pull of different articles of clothing. “Sam, what are these prices?” Max asks as he looks at the tags. “Are they expensive? We can go to a different store if-” Geek starts before Max raises his hand. “I mean, what are they? The tags just have confusing math equations on them?”  Max points out. Geek takes a look at the tags on the clothes and sees that Max is right, there are in fact math equations on the tags instead of prices. “That’s not a very sound business practice, but there is a reason the stores called “Smarty Pants”, I suppose.” Geek says as they look over the tags. “Let me just… and carry the three… divided by five, times by two… and with everything I picked out so far the total comes to… ten US dollars.” Geek finishes. “Really? That’s a steal! All this for just ten dollars?” Sam exclaimed as he gestures to the clothes the Geek picked out. “Yeah, it’s cheap or else no one would bother with the equations you have to do the figure to the pricing. Now about that lab coat...”

“So, what part of the economy shall we stimulate next with our patronage?” Sam asks as we leave  _ Smarty Pants _ . “I could use some new tools, it’s been years since I got new ones and my current set is definitely showing its age....” Geek mutters. “Yes. Please, Sam. I wanna look at the hammers with my child! Have them teach me all about them and I show them how to bludgeon someone properly! Please! I need this!” Max begs as he starts to tear up. “OK, little buddy. Don’t cry.” Sam comforts as he pats Max on the back. “I just love them so much! They’re so smart and sassy!” Max begins to cry. “P-please, little buddy! If you cry then I’ll start too…” Sam says as his voice begins to crack. “Are you guys OK?” Geek asks as they watch Sam and Max bawl in the middle of a mall due to loving them too much. “You guys can hold my hands if it makes you feel better?” Geek offers. 

 

**One crying session later…**

 

“Are you guys feeling better?” Geek asks as they hold onto Sam and Max’s hands, with each one on either side of them. “Yeah, I don’t know what came over us?” Sam answers. “So, tools. Does this mall even sell tools?” Max asks, changing the subject. “Yep, there's a hardware store right over here.” Geek gestures with their head due to their hands being preoccupied at the moment. “So what are you gonna get, Geek?” Max asks as they stroll up to the store front. “Just the basics, screwdrivers, hammers, wire cutters.” Geek lists off. “I can only imagine the damage that Max could do with those tools.” Sam says with a shudder. “Aw! Thank you Sam!” Max giggles. 

  
“So… anything else that needs to be done while we’re here?” Sam asks as the group exits the hardware store. “Nothing I can think of.” Geek answers with a yawn. “Tired?” Sam asks. “Yeah, I had fun today.” Geek conforms in a sleepy voice. “Hey! If we hurry home we can catch that new episode of  _ Lienutters _ !” Max exclaims. “Sure, Geek? What do you say to that?” Sam asks. “Mmm...?” Geek mumbles. Sam switches the arm he holding one of Geeks bags with and scoops Geek into his arms. “Were gonna head home, Geek. We’ll wake you when we get back.” Sam explains. “OK, Dad.” Geek agrees as they close their eyes. It takes everything Sam has to not cry when he hears Geek call him dad. “Did Geek just...?!” Max whispers in an elated tone. Tears are now sliding down Sam's face as holds Geek. “Let’s head home, little buddy.” Sam says as Max takes the shopping bags that are in Sam's hand. Max then joins his hand his Sams as they make their way out of the mall and back home to unwind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Geek: *Does anything*  
> Sam & Max: *Proud parent noises* 
> 
> Sorry if this was late! I hope y'all enjoyed this! See you guys in the next part!

**Author's Note:**

> TL;DR  
> Geek: Who would want someone that makes black holes?  
> Max: ME ME ME ME ME ME!
> 
> Welcome to the first part of this new series! Keep in mind that this is a countiation of If a 6 foot tall dog man and tiny violent rabbit gremiln pined for each other would that be gay or what?


End file.
